Written by: CBR1000gRRl 8/2/2009 8:24 AM
I am extremely sad to say that Dad is deteriorating rapidly, and we suspect he only has days left, this seems to also be the opinion of the doctors. He does not want more chemo, which is entirely reasonable, and we will cancel the PET/CT, since he will be physically unable to go. All of his children are here now. Me, Tony, Robin, and Erin. Our focus is to stay with him as much as possible and make him as comfortable as possible. He enjoys the Marinol quite a bit, and while it allows him to be pain-free, he also seems to be going on many enjoyable little adventures in his head. Every once in a while he speaks out loud, and then looks around and says "oh, never mind," Obviously his visions are very realistic to him, and he seems to enjoy them, not a bad way to spend your final time on earth, I think. We are also working on funeral arrangements and transportation to Arizona. Our hope is to find a resting place in Sedona which will allow us to do things the way he wants. Plan B is a “green burial” place in El Mirage. The place in El Mirage is OK and will support the type of burial he wants, but Sedona is much more “dad-like,” so we would very much like to make that happen. If anyone has any contacts in Sedona that might be able to help make that happen, please let us know.
We also have an offer/request. We are looking for someone to drive Dad's van from Las Vegas to Phoenix so that we can clean it out and sort through all of his things. That van was as much his home as anywhere else! In return for helping us, the driver is welcome to use the van (after we clean it out of course) to go to Burning Man this year. It is old, and not 100% reliable, but once it gets to the playa it makes a great home. The only requirement after that is that it be driven back to Phoenix so that we can sell it. Please send me an email if you are interested or know someone who is. Thanks!
8 comment(s) so far...
Re: Nearing the end. This is sad news...
Re: Nearing the end.
This is sad news...
Re: Nearing the end. Hi Wendy! I'm sorry I haven't written to you, but I've been following your and Nathan's blog. I apologize since I really don't know what to say out of fear of hurting you guys more. I know EXACTLY what you guys are going through and please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know if there's anything I can do to help, but please let Gary and I know if there is and we'll do everything in our power to do it. *hugs*Wendy
Hi Wendy! I'm sorry I haven't written to you, but I've been following your and Nathan's blog. I apologize since I really don't know what to say out of fear of hurting you guys more. I know EXACTLY what you guys are going through and please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know if there's anything I can do to help, but please let Gary and I know if there is and we'll do everything in our power to do it. *hugs*Wendy
Re: Nearing the end. our family is with your family right now in heart and mind. john is a true love in our lives and glad he is surrounded by so much towards the end of his, thank you for sharing him with us for so many many years. again, our love and hearts are with you. jb
our family is with your family right now in heart and mind. john is a true love in our lives and glad he is surrounded by so much towards the end of his, thank you for sharing him with us for so many many years. again, our love and hearts are with you. jb
Re: Nearing the end. I wrote on the other page. Sad news indeed! I really thought we would have more time with you, but where you are going into the Mother's arms cannot be beat.At least you will be pain and worry free.Guy in Hawai`i
I wrote on the other page. Sad news indeed! I really thought we would have more time with you, but where you are going into the Mother's arms cannot be beat.At least you will be pain and worry free.Guy in Hawai`i
Re: Nearing the end. Dearest Wendi, (my Daughter) at this time life seems so small, but know this, as I have done what you do now. The love I held for my Mother has yet to bring sadness to my heart when she took her final journey three days before my birthday, oh so many years ago. I held her as she smiled and journied on. I hold onto that time, feeling, memory, and my heart is full of joy, for she was welcomed home, and yes with a soft goodbye.Please know that I am here for you and your family if it be the case.We have heard many say the best is saved for last, and I truly believe this, as you walk this road be strong as we all will one time travel where your Father now is preparing to venture.May your heart be at ease and peace.All my love and Blessingslarry
Dearest Wendi, (my Daughter) at this time life seems so small, but know this, as I have done what you do now. The love I held for my Mother has yet to bring sadness to my heart when she took her final journey three days before my birthday, oh so many years ago. I held her as she smiled and journied on. I hold onto that time, feeling, memory, and my heart is full of joy, for she was welcomed home, and yes with a soft goodbye.Please know that I am here for you and your family if it be the case.We have heard many say the best is saved for last, and I truly believe this, as you walk this road be strong as we all will one time travel where your Father now is preparing to venture.May your heart be at ease and peace.All my love and Blessingslarry
Re: Nearing the end. Wendy, I know how hard it was for you to share with me and let me cry on your shoulder a month ago before I made it back out here, thank you! Maybe you and I can get together on father's day next year and remember our daddies. :o)Jenniekay - thank you, and know that the loving thoughts and energy sent to us and especially to dad are well-received and appreciated!Guy - I know dad and you have some fantastic history and much love for each other. I'm thankful that you have been a friend to him for so many years!Lar - as always, your words touch my heart. Thank you for continuing to be you, and remember that you can't get away from having children, even if you didn't have any children, we (your children), won't let you!Everyone who has posted, called, sent cards, gifts, etc. - thank you! I'm so glad that dad has made such an impression on the world, to have such a giant collection of fantastic people loving and missing him.
Wendy, I know how hard it was for you to share with me and let me cry on your shoulder a month ago before I made it back out here, thank you! Maybe you and I can get together on father's day next year and remember our daddies. :o)Jenniekay - thank you, and know that the loving thoughts and energy sent to us and especially to dad are well-received and appreciated!Guy - I know dad and you have some fantastic history and much love for each other. I'm thankful that you have been a friend to him for so many years!Lar - as always, your words touch my heart. Thank you for continuing to be you, and remember that you can't get away from having children, even if you didn't have any children, we (your children), won't let you!Everyone who has posted, called, sent cards, gifts, etc. - thank you! I'm so glad that dad has made such an impression on the world, to have such a giant collection of fantastic people loving and missing him.
Re: Nearing the end. This is hitting me very, very hard. John was someone who had taken me in years ago, when everybody else lost all hope in me (not that I blame them for losing the hope when they did). I had lived with him in the Jemez for about three and a half months; it was probably the most intensive spiritual experience I ever had. He was a wonderful man, his door (and heart) was always open to everybody. I had learned so much from him...you don't find people like him very often. I can't seem to express enough of how much he's meant to me and how hard this is to endure. Thank you so much for sharing and keeping us informed, he is truly loved and will be dearly missed :(
This is hitting me very, very hard. John was someone who had taken me in years ago, when everybody else lost all hope in me (not that I blame them for losing the hope when they did). I had lived with him in the Jemez for about three and a half months; it was probably the most intensive spiritual experience I ever had. He was a wonderful man, his door (and heart) was always open to everybody. I had learned so much from him...you don't find people like him very often. I can't seem to express enough of how much he's meant to me and how hard this is to endure. Thank you so much for sharing and keeping us informed, he is truly loved and will be dearly missed :(
Thoughts and energy from NM Love, tenderness and respite to John, and to Robin & Wendy & others attending John's rite of passage. John, you were an important teacher and friend for many kindred here in NM. You kept a sanctuary and healing retreat alive for many people. You carried an abiding earth-spirit connection, You walked and shared the tribal & alchemical pathways. Your heart was wide and open. May Great Spirit be with you & your caring circle through this sacred transformational time. We will always know you in the whisper of the trees and in the fire's dance. Namaste, Io in Albuquerque
Thoughts and energy from NM
Love, tenderness and respite to John, and to Robin & Wendy & others attending John's rite of passage. John, you were an important teacher and friend for many kindred here in NM. You kept a sanctuary and healing retreat alive for many people. You carried an abiding earth-spirit connection, You walked and shared the tribal & alchemical pathways. Your heart was wide and open. May Great Spirit be with you & your caring circle through this sacred transformational time. We will always know you in the whisper of the trees and in the fire's dance. Namaste, Io in Albuquerque